Sunday, December 13, 2009
Merry & Bright
Merry Christmas!!
Wow it's been FOREVER since I posted! I really don't have anything to report right now.
I'm waiting for after the holidays until I can get in to get another fill. Not by choice, that's just how backed up my Dr.'s office is. Plus I have to go into the actual hospital and have them fill me by x-ray to be sure that everything is in working order and make sure that the saline is actually getting up there since I'm at such a high fill level with NO restriction.
I've got to be honest, this is HARD! I knew going into it that it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't think it would take this long to find my sweet spot. But I'm staying optimistic and keeping my hopes high. My self control is up and down, but I certainly haven't let myself go back. My main goal right now until I have some restriction is to just not gain any weight. I'm not even focused on losing yet because that's just setting myself up for disappointment.
ANYWAY! Just wanted to check in w/everyone and say 'HI' and hope you all are having a wonderful holiday and not giving into too many yummy temptations ;)
I will be back after Christmas with more updates and, hopefully, some good news of weight loss!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
That'll Work
Before Halloween I was stressing out about resisting all the yummy trick-or-treat candy I was going to be passing out. So I spent some time in the kitchen testing out some recipes so that I could avoid that pit-fall. I pre-made some of my favorites so that when little Hannah Montanas and Spidermen came knocking on my door, temptation wouldn't come too.
Well I never even had a chance to avoid temptation with my special goodies :( But I did find a great way to not have any interest at all in eating anything, even my favorite peanut butter M&Ms...get the flu.
Halloween morning my husband came home from work saying he didn't feel too good, and sure enough, by the end of the night, neither did I. I had to have my sister come over in an emergency to take all the trick-or-treat candy to her friend's dorm to pass out to drunk frat boys since there was no way I was letting that evilness stay in my house after trick-or-treat night. And the news told us all not to pass out candy if we're sick :(
So instead of walking my 5k I had to miss it AGAIN :( and we didn't get to go see Paranormal Activity or go to the haunted house or pass out candy, or dress up, or enjoy our decorations we put up :( (wah wah wah). But I DID lose 7 lbs! Hahaha, I know that's not the healthy way to do it, I wasn't trying to, but when you can't eat anything at all it's bound to happen. Let's just hope that my body doesn't try to ward off Thanksgiving temptations the same way, right?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Love Apple Crisp? Read on....
There's no denying that fall has FINALLY reached the fiery depths of Arizona :) This morning when I went out for my mile walk (yay!) I was so chilly that I had to go back in and add another shirt! Unless you live in Arizona and understand the HEAT we deal with, you have no idea how insanely wonderful it was to have to put on a long sleeve shirt this morning.
True to my word in my prev. post, I went for a one mile walk, ate a healthy breakfast, and have been drinking my water and eating right all day :)
But all day I was thinking about how much I miss making caramel apples and having warm apple crisp on these perfectly wonderful fall days. As soon as I thought about it, I instantly knew where to look to get my fall goody fix WITHOUT running to the trick-or-treater's bowl of candy :) My FAVORITE WLS blog- The World According To Eggface
She has the best most amazing recipes that are specialized for people who have had weight loss surgery, or heck...for anyone who loves good but healthy food.
I decided to giver her Shelly's Apple Cherry Crumb a try, only making it more customized. I'm a seriously picky eater and don't like to experiment with flavor combinations and stuff.
So here is my version re-named Caramel Apple Crumble. Let me warn you, this will make your house smell SO amazingly delicious! I also tried to come up w/the nutritional stats, they're at the bottom.
Caramel Apple Crumble- by Stephanie (to view Shelly's original recipe, click on the link above as this is MY variation):
Ingredients:
*3 large granny smith apples peeled, cored, and sliced thin (I don't like cherries and apples so I used more apples)
*3 TBS Sugar Free Caramel Torani syrup (I wanted a more caramel-y flavor)
*2 tsp cinnamon ( I love cinnamon too much to use just a dash)
After the apples are peeled and sliced, put them in a small sauce pan over low heat.
Add the Caramel syrup and the cinnamon and mix well.
Cook over low heat for 5 to 8 minutes or until apples are starting to get a little soft.
While that is cooking, make the topping.
TOPPING Ingredients:
*1/3 cup raw almonds
*1/3 cup oatmeal (I used steel cut oats)
*sprinkle of cloves, sprinkle of nutmeg, and a large sprinkle of cinnamon (I didn't have apple pie spice, if you do just use 1/2 tsp. instead)
*1 TBS Sugar Free Caramel Torani syrup
*2 TBS almond butter (I tried 1 and it wasn't clumpy enough)
*1 TBS butter substitute (I rarely use real butter)
Finely chop almonds. I used a knife because I don't have food processor, but if you do, that would probably work better.
Then add all of the other topping ingredients and blend together in a mixer or processor.
Spoon apples into 4 oven safe dishes.
Sprinkle topping mix evenly over each dish.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Sit back and bask in the heavenly aroma of apples, cinnamon, and caramel.
NUTRITION FACTS (approx.):
For 1 of the 4 dishes-
Calories= 224
Total Fat= 10g (there are a lot of nuts)
Sodium= 32 mg
Sodium= 32 mg
Carbs= 33g
Protein= 6 grams (yay!)
Protein= 6 grams (yay!)
So there you go! A delicious dessert that really helps take the edge off of cravings for apple crisp and caramel apples.
Let me know if you try making this and if you make any variations that you like a lot :)
Let's Re-Cap, Shall We?
OK sorry, been going through chaos lately...here's what's been happening:
*Oct. 16th I got my 3rd fill, I am up to 8 CCs in an 11 CC band (yikes). Am I worried? YES! I still do not feel ANY restriction...WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I know everyone is different and it takes a different amount for different people...bla bla bla bla bla, I KNOW. But come on :( this is not going so smoothly for me.
My Dr. said that my next fill she'll do under florescent so that we can make sure I don't have a leak or that my band has slipped or anything. I'm also going to ask her about this replacement for saline called "xray contrast fluid." I was checking the LapBandTalk boards (more on that in a minute) and another bandster had/has the exact same situation as me, 8 CCs in an 11 CC band and no restriction, so her dr took out all her saline and replaced it with that contrast fluid and she said now she has perfect restriction, so idk, but I'm going to find out what that's about.
On a somewhat positive note, I did another 5k. I'm a little discouraged because I thought I could do the full 10K, but I couldn't :( In all reality, of course I couldn't, that's over 6 miles! Just a month ago I could hardly do one mile, what on earth made me think I could do over 6 in less than a month? So I set myself up for disappointment. And my mom, dad, and husband keep telling me I didn't fail and I'm not a loser, but I still kind of feel like it. I know it's irrational and I should be super proud of the 5K, but I just feel like I should have been able to do 10. Oh well, I know I'll get there, right? Next weekend I have another 5K to do for Juvenile Diabetes. I'll post pics, I don't have any from this last one. Oh yeah...and SHE ----->
can bite me.
Now let's talk about how STUPID I've been lately. And normally I wouldn't even DARE to admit this to everyone, but I HAVE to be honest and take responsibility for me serious lack of common sense! Here are the serious mistakes I've made this month that I highly encourage everyone else NOT to make:
Mistake #1- Do NOT buy the large party size bag of peanut butter M&Ms when you're craving them and tell yourself that you can control yourself to only eat 1/8th of a cup of them at a time (that's like 10 m&ms)...because guess what...you'll eat the whole damn bag in 4 days.
Mistake #2- Do NOT go out and buy ANOTHER bag of peanut butter M&Ms after having previously make mistake #1 and try to tell yourself that it's because they're Halloween colors and are really just for decoration in your glass pumpkin candy dish, but you won't eat them. Why is this a bad idea? Because you WILL eat them.
Mistake #3- When inviting your parents (2 people) over for movie night and you want to provide a dessert (that you know only 1 of them will eat) do NOT buy enough Reeses and Heath Klondike bars for 12 people. I know, who would have thought that I would spend every waking second of the next 2 days doing nothing but thinking about those damn Klondike bars and then go on a mad ice cream binging rampage leaving nothing but foil wrappers littering the counter? Crazy, huh? Who'da thunk it?
Mistake #4- When you're at Costco buying all your healthy food in bulk, do NOT stop over in the Halloween section and decide that now (2 weeks BEFORE Halloween) is the perfect time to buy the 10 lb bag of candy to pass out to trick-or treaters. And why is that kids? Oh...right....because the candy won't ever make it to the trick-or-treaters bags! Poor little trick-or-treaters. :(
So...is it really any surprise that I'm not losing any weight this month? I think the bigger surprise is that I'm not gaining any!
SOLUTION TIME-
So I'm back to the drawing board. I'm going to write this month prior to today off as "What the hell where you thinking?" and move on to "I'm so over that!" Starting tomorrow I'm back in the saddle with my new found knowledge and re-affirmed motivation.
Let's review the basics that have been thrown out the window:
*1 to 2 cups of food per meal
*NO drinking 30 minutes BEFORE and 30 minutes AFTER a meal, and CERTAINLY not during!
*PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN!
*8 glasses of water per day! Not 1!
*A veggie with at least 2 of the 3 meals
*NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ice cream or candy (I'll allow myself later, but right now I need to get re-focused)
I've also decided that I need to get back to my online support at LapBandTalk.com and read up on success stories and people who are going through the same thing as me. This entire blog was inspired by the bandster who said she's lost 96 lbs in 6 months!! CRAP!
I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this!! AND I WILL :D
See...I feel better already :)
BRING ON TOMORROW!!!!
*Oct. 16th I got my 3rd fill, I am up to 8 CCs in an 11 CC band (yikes). Am I worried? YES! I still do not feel ANY restriction...WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I know everyone is different and it takes a different amount for different people...bla bla bla bla bla, I KNOW. But come on :( this is not going so smoothly for me.
My Dr. said that my next fill she'll do under florescent so that we can make sure I don't have a leak or that my band has slipped or anything. I'm also going to ask her about this replacement for saline called "xray contrast fluid." I was checking the LapBandTalk boards (more on that in a minute) and another bandster had/has the exact same situation as me, 8 CCs in an 11 CC band and no restriction, so her dr took out all her saline and replaced it with that contrast fluid and she said now she has perfect restriction, so idk, but I'm going to find out what that's about.
On a somewhat positive note, I did another 5k. I'm a little discouraged because I thought I could do the full 10K, but I couldn't :( In all reality, of course I couldn't, that's over 6 miles! Just a month ago I could hardly do one mile, what on earth made me think I could do over 6 in less than a month? So I set myself up for disappointment. And my mom, dad, and husband keep telling me I didn't fail and I'm not a loser, but I still kind of feel like it. I know it's irrational and I should be super proud of the 5K, but I just feel like I should have been able to do 10. Oh well, I know I'll get there, right? Next weekend I have another 5K to do for Juvenile Diabetes. I'll post pics, I don't have any from this last one. Oh yeah...and SHE ----->
can bite me.
Now let's talk about how STUPID I've been lately. And normally I wouldn't even DARE to admit this to everyone, but I HAVE to be honest and take responsibility for me serious lack of common sense! Here are the serious mistakes I've made this month that I highly encourage everyone else NOT to make:
Mistake #1- Do NOT buy the large party size bag of peanut butter M&Ms when you're craving them and tell yourself that you can control yourself to only eat 1/8th of a cup of them at a time (that's like 10 m&ms)...because guess what...you'll eat the whole damn bag in 4 days.
Mistake #2- Do NOT go out and buy ANOTHER bag of peanut butter M&Ms after having previously make mistake #1 and try to tell yourself that it's because they're Halloween colors and are really just for decoration in your glass pumpkin candy dish, but you won't eat them. Why is this a bad idea? Because you WILL eat them.
Mistake #3- When inviting your parents (2 people) over for movie night and you want to provide a dessert (that you know only 1 of them will eat) do NOT buy enough Reeses and Heath Klondike bars for 12 people. I know, who would have thought that I would spend every waking second of the next 2 days doing nothing but thinking about those damn Klondike bars and then go on a mad ice cream binging rampage leaving nothing but foil wrappers littering the counter? Crazy, huh? Who'da thunk it?
Mistake #4- When you're at Costco buying all your healthy food in bulk, do NOT stop over in the Halloween section and decide that now (2 weeks BEFORE Halloween) is the perfect time to buy the 10 lb bag of candy to pass out to trick-or treaters. And why is that kids? Oh...right....because the candy won't ever make it to the trick-or-treaters bags! Poor little trick-or-treaters. :(
So...is it really any surprise that I'm not losing any weight this month? I think the bigger surprise is that I'm not gaining any!
SOLUTION TIME-
So I'm back to the drawing board. I'm going to write this month prior to today off as "What the hell where you thinking?" and move on to "I'm so over that!" Starting tomorrow I'm back in the saddle with my new found knowledge and re-affirmed motivation.
Let's review the basics that have been thrown out the window:
*1 to 2 cups of food per meal
*NO drinking 30 minutes BEFORE and 30 minutes AFTER a meal, and CERTAINLY not during!
*PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN!
*8 glasses of water per day! Not 1!
*A veggie with at least 2 of the 3 meals
*NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ice cream or candy (I'll allow myself later, but right now I need to get re-focused)
I've also decided that I need to get back to my online support at LapBandTalk.com and read up on success stories and people who are going through the same thing as me. This entire blog was inspired by the bandster who said she's lost 96 lbs in 6 months!! CRAP!
I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this!! AND I WILL :D
See...I feel better already :)
BRING ON TOMORROW!!!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
My First 5k! Komen For The Cure 2009!
I did it!!! I power walked my first 5k today as part of the Komen For The Cure walk for breast cancer.
Originally I was going to go by myself and meet my friends up there, but when I looked at the very complicated map of parking and shuttle routs, I got scared and forced my husband to take me. I am directionally challenged and I would have ended up lost and crying in a ball on the ground and never would have made it to the race if he hadn't taken me. Who needs that anxiety, right? Plus, it was just really nice having someone waiting for me at the finish line :)
So we finally got a parking spot and I swear, it was practically a 5k just to get from my car to the starting line!! We found my friends and waited around for our race to start.
It was SO packed, I couldn't even take enough steps to activate the Nike + sensor in my shoes! The air horn went off, signaling the start of the walk, but we couldn't move, lol, it was just so packed with bodies.
Originally I was going to go by myself and meet my friends up there, but when I looked at the very complicated map of parking and shuttle routs, I got scared and forced my husband to take me. I am directionally challenged and I would have ended up lost and crying in a ball on the ground and never would have made it to the race if he hadn't taken me. Who needs that anxiety, right? Plus, it was just really nice having someone waiting for me at the finish line :)
So we finally got a parking spot and I swear, it was practically a 5k just to get from my car to the starting line!! We found my friends and waited around for our race to start.
It was SO packed, I couldn't even take enough steps to activate the Nike + sensor in my shoes! The air horn went off, signaling the start of the walk, but we couldn't move, lol, it was just so packed with bodies.
For the first 5 minutes of the walk I think I moved a whole yard, if that, lol. Once the pack finally broke up and we could actually move, it was great. I wasn't able to keep the pace I really wanted to because I was walking with other people who weren't as fast of walkers as I am, but that's ok, it kept me from getting too burned out. We ended up loosing each other though, and I spent a lot of waisted time looking for them instead of just walking on ahead, so I ended up crossing the finish line later than I would have, but again...no biggie. It'll just make my next finishing time look that much better :)My husband was waiting for me at the finish line and cheering me on :) so that was really nice.
I was walking for my grandma. She didn't pass away from breast cancer, but her breast cancer is what triggered the other cancers that she did die from :( So it was an emotional day for everyone, but you could really feel the positive energy! It was empowering :)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The Magic Shoes
Hey ladies :)
I am pleased to announce that I am doing ANOTHER walk! That's FOUR!!! Actually, I'm cheating just a little bit. There's a YMCA 5K walk on the same day as the Nike Human Race run, so I'm going to do both, but track the first 5K for the YMCA walk and then go home and do the other 5K around my neighborhood :) Hey...I'm still walking 10K, I'm just changing locations half way through! :)
So a few of you asked about my shoes. They're the new Nike Lunar Glide women's shoe and here is the link:
http://store.nike.com/index.jsp?sitesrc=uslp&country=US&lang_locale=en_US#l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-239441/pgid-239442
I have high arches and these have a built in arch support. They also are specially designed so that those of us who's thunder thighs push their feet sideways (yes, it's true) the padding on these shoes is specially designed to keep your feet level :) Anyway, the link tells all about them. If you're serious about running/walking, then the BEST thing you can do for yourself is get a really good pair of shoes :) And these are truly magic.
I am pleased to announce that I am doing ANOTHER walk! That's FOUR!!! Actually, I'm cheating just a little bit. There's a YMCA 5K walk on the same day as the Nike Human Race run, so I'm going to do both, but track the first 5K for the YMCA walk and then go home and do the other 5K around my neighborhood :) Hey...I'm still walking 10K, I'm just changing locations half way through! :)
So a few of you asked about my shoes. They're the new Nike Lunar Glide women's shoe and here is the link:
http://store.nike.com/index.jsp?sitesrc=uslp&country=US&lang_locale=en_US#l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-239441/pgid-239442
I have high arches and these have a built in arch support. They also are specially designed so that those of us who's thunder thighs push their feet sideways (yes, it's true) the padding on these shoes is specially designed to keep your feet level :) Anyway, the link tells all about them. If you're serious about running/walking, then the BEST thing you can do for yourself is get a really good pair of shoes :) And these are truly magic.
Monday, September 28, 2009
What's Happening To Me???
As you all know, I got my Nike shoes that I super love. I thought they were a pretty good price for shoes w/a hole in them (for the ipod sensor). What I didn't expect was what else came with the shoes! They're magic! All of a sudden I WANT to walk more, faster, longer, further. That's never happened before. Now I find that I'm super into sponsored walks for good causes! I'm signed up for THREE next month! Whoa!
October 11th- 2009 Komen Phoenix Race for the Cure (5K walk)
http://www.kintera.org/faf/home/ccp.asp?ievent=305284&lis=1&kntae305284=558601B6A1BE4E5FBAAE25CD8380F752&ccp=91644
October 24th- 2009 The Human Race 10K- Nike- "The Day The World Runs." (10k RUN-but I'm walking, lol)
http://inside.nike.com/blogs/nikerunning_humanrace-en_US/?tags=race_day
October 31st- 2009 JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) Walk To Cure Diabetes (5K walk)
http://jdrfdsw.org/events_phoenix_walk.html
Seriously! Three walks that have a "K" in them! That's a first for me :) I'm SO excited! I'll be posting photos of each one as I do them, of course :)
October 11th- 2009 Komen Phoenix Race for the Cure (5K walk)
http://www.kintera.org/faf/home/ccp.asp?ievent=305284&lis=1&kntae305284=558601B6A1BE4E5FBAAE25CD8380F752&ccp=91644
October 24th- 2009 The Human Race 10K- Nike- "The Day The World Runs." (10k RUN-but I'm walking, lol)
http://inside.nike.com/blogs/nikerunning_humanrace-en_US/?tags=race_day
October 31st- 2009 JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) Walk To Cure Diabetes (5K walk)
http://jdrfdsw.org/events_phoenix_walk.html
Seriously! Three walks that have a "K" in them! That's a first for me :) I'm SO excited! I'll be posting photos of each one as I do them, of course :)
Strange Dreams
Last night when I went to bed I was thinking about this morning, about whether or not I wanted to set my alarm to give me enough time for a power walk in the morning, or if I wanted to sleep in. I decided to compromise and set my alarm to get up in time for a power walk, but not actually go walking, just to get in the habit of waking up earlier. I just knew I wasn't going to feel up to walking in the morning.
Then I fell asleep. As I drifted off into unconscious bliss, my celebrity crush (who shall remain anonymous) slowly wandered into my dream world. We were "dating" in my dream and I was so crazy about him. I just always wanted to be around him and I was hanging off of him constantly. He didn't really seem THAT into me though. At some point I was trying to kiss him (I know right?? I'm a married woman!!) and he wasn't really giving in, so in typical Stephanie fashion, I got my feelings hurt. He felt bad, so he started kiss me back (thank you dream gods!) and then did one of those moves where they grab you on your upper thigh right below your butt and lift you up onto their hips...yeah, only it didn't work so well. Why? Because I'm still fat in my dream!! What the heck. So, he somehow manages to lift me up, only I look at his face and he is in AGONY over how freaking heavy I am, but he knows if he drops me I'll be embarrassed, so he's trying w/all his might to keep me lifted. He walks me over to the couch where his arms finally give out and he drops me into the cushions. He apologizes (out of breath) and explains that he's really into me, but I'm just too heavy and big for him to be with me the way I want. :(
So my alarm goes off and wakes me up, and I wake up embarrassed and hurt. And no one is around but my husband, so I feel embarrassed and hurt by him. This is common- the transfer of dream emotions. So instead of slugging my way out to the couch to be lazy before work, I instantly put on my work out clothes, laced up my Nikes, activated my Nike+ on my iPod, gave my husband a hug and kiss (out of guilt for dream kissing another guy, even though my husband didn't even exist in my dream, but still), filled up my water bottle, and took off down the street. I did over a mile again today, but I accidentally turned the dang thing off after .2 miles, so my work out history isn't completely accurate. Oh well.
Now I am enjoying my breakfast after my workout while I update this :)
Today's Breakfast:
*1 Sandwich Thins bun (2 slices)- toasted
*2 tbs organic almond butter smeared over the 2 toasted Sandwich Thins
*1/2 granny smith apple sliced into thin slices and placed on top of the almond butter covered toast
Not bad :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What's For Breakfast?
Ever since my surgery over 3 months ago (WOW!) I have had the same 3 breakfasts over and over again.
Breakfast #1
*Fried eggs (no butter)
Breakfast #2
*Egg omlet w/low sodium bacon and low fat cheddar cheese
Breakfast #3
*CarbMaster Yogurt mixed with Kashi Go Lean Crunch
Sometimes I have bacon with my fried eggs, but I always have some kind of fruit with any breakfast. But it's always the same and usually involves eggs.
My question to all of you who have had WLS, what do you eat for breakfast? I need some variation, but I'm so picky about my food. I'm used to the super carby breakfasts like the picture, lol, mmm...food porn >:) LOL.
I just bought some turkey sausage and that was pretty ok. But come on, there's got to be more out there.
Leave me comments w/ideas and/or recipes :) I'd love to hear from you!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
My New Nikes!!!
I went shopping this weekend :D I was able to sweet talk my darling hubby into lifting the "deal" regarding getting my Nike shoes only if I work out on my elliptical for a month! He knows I'm motivated!
So I got the arm band for my iPod touch so that I can listen to all my "power songs" that are designed to keep me energized and keep me going even when I want to quit.
Then I got the SHOES!! While neon orange isn't really the height of fashion in my opinion, I still LOVE them! They are super light weight, and accommodate my WIDE feet very well. They have the best arch support ever AND they have extra support for the outer sides of my feet since my thighs push my feet to the side.
The iPod Nike+ transmitter goes under the cushioning of the shoe. That's what sends your work out info to the iPod and then to Nike.com.
And this is what it looks like :)
So this morning I woke up early and strapped on my new shoes and donned all my gear and hit the trails! Well, the trails in the community I live in, lol.
I was so mad because I actually did over a mile, but I forgot to hit the "start" button until I was half done! :( I can dye my hair as black as I want but I'll always be a blond. But hey, for my first time power walking for a while, a mile isn't too bad :) And I wasn't even that worn out, I was just HOT because let's face it, I live in the middle of the freaking desert and it's dang hot here!
Losing More Than Just Lbs
What's this? Totally awesome shower art? No...it's not. It's my HAIR :( And that's not including what already went down the drain or what I combed out after the shower. That is just what came out in my hands after shampooing and conditioning :( Isn't that AWFUL?! Yes, it is.
If you're reading this and you're pre-surgery, don't freak out. Hair loss after surgery is common, yes, BUT I also have PCOS, so I probably lose more than most. Also, it's only temporary (I'm told!) so hopefully this will end happily soon enough!
For those of you reading this post-op...did this happen to you? For how long? When did your hair start growing back?
I'm not sure exactly what the cause of all this hair loss is, but I've read so many things it "could" be. So I've increased my protein intake (possibility #1-lack of protein), I've started taking a Hair/Nail/Skin vitamin (possibility#2- lack of important vitamins), and I just bought the #4 Nioxin system and have started using that just today (possibility #3- body is in shock/stress from surgery and rapid weight loss and new growth has stopped).
So for now I'll just have to make more shower art until my hair decides to stop abandoning my scalp.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Chew On This...
I'm on my last full day of my liquid diet and have already had some mushies. I just can't live off liquids for that long, my body needs fuel!! So far I had a soft cheese stick, and it went down just fine, no discomfort at all. Then I had some fat free refried beans and the protein in that really made me feel more awake :)
But I'm still feeling hungry for more solid food!
One tip I've found that really works for me and helps curb my appetite is chewing gum :)
Now, MY Dr. says gum is a No-No! But the reason for that is that if I swallow it and it gets stuck, they have to fish it out because it won't go down past my band. Hmm...I personally find that a little hard to believe, but whatever. All that really tells me is not to swallow my gum :) I only chew minty sugar free kinds. I'm really not worried about the 5 calories I get from it. Because, those 5 calories save me from eating a lot more. For me, when I have something cool and minty in my mouth at all times, it makes me not want to eat anything else, because nothing tastes good after gum, lol. Maybe that's just me...but it does work for me.
I was trying to find the commercial for that gum where the lady is at the mall and she comes up the escalator and lands in front of a cookie shop and says something along the lines of "It's ok, I have gum!" or something like that ( I don't recall exactly). Now THAT is a bit of a stretch. One stick of gum in no way compares to fresh from the oven cookies! But, it does help me not worry so much about food not being in my mouth when I have some gum in there instead :)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Post Fill Liquid Diet Day 2
Yeah...this pic is putting it mildly. I am SOOOO hungry! :( Stupid liquid diets :( That's the only thing I hate about getting fills. On one hand, I'm so excited to get fills so that I can be properly tightened so that I can control my portions and lose weight. On the other, I go through 3 days of pure torture not being able to eat anything but Jell-O and broth. And for me it's just Jell-O because I cannot STAND broth anymore since my surgery.
Any my poor husband, I don't let him eat for 3 days either, LOL. Well, he can eat, he just can't eat anything I like. So he has to live off of pickles, rice w/salsa, and hummus while I glare at him over my Jell-O cup. I feel bad making him not eat, it's not his fault I chose to get a fill. But still, he does it because he supports me and that's how he can show it best. I'd seriously rip his head off if he TRIED to eat something super yummy around me when I can't eat it. So really this works best for both of us.
So I've lost 4 lbs from my liquid diet, and I'd be more excited about that if I weren't so dang HANGRY!!
Hangry: When you're so hungry you're angry.
Yep...that's me right now. I get really feisty when I'm this hungry. *Sigh* only 1 1/2 more days to go before I can have some real food. I'll get there!
Friday, September 11, 2009
2nd Fill Report
FINALLY I was able to get in for my second fill :) Let me tell you...I was DREADING being weighed because I know I've gained 5 1/2 lbs! I was so afraid that my Dr. was going to say "Stephanie, you are not taking this seriously and you are gaining weight! No one in our patient history has gained weight but you and we are so disappointed!" (see the psychological mess I am?)
But once again, I was proven how it is NOT the number on the scale that measures your success!!! My Dr's office has those really nice scales that send a jolt of electrons up your body and then print out a little receipt that tell you all kinds of stuff, like your BMI, your lean muscle mass, your bone density, etc. So I hopped up on the scale, she said my weight and I said "DANG IT!" because by saying the weight out loud she confirmed that I had in fact gained 5 1/2 lbs exactly. So I went back out to the waiting room and actually started crying. Yes...I started crying over 5 1/2 lbs. I know that most of you who would try and comfort me would say that 5 1/2 lbs is nothing, but when you're trying to LOSE weight, not losing anything would be frustrating enough but then GAINING is just un-acceptable.
Well, as I hinted at before, there is a happy ending. When the Dr. came in to give me my fill, I started crying again and she asked what was wrong and I said "I've gained weight and I'm so upset about it and I'm afraid I'm going to fail." She looked at me and said "Why are you gaining weight?" and I said "I don't knooowwwwww!" :( and she said, " Of course you do. Tell me why," so I went into this long explanation about how I thought maybe it was water weight from being bloated from my T.T.O.T.M. and I was rambling on and on. She stopped me and said "I highly doubt that, it's probably because you aren't filled enough yet!" and so I was excited that she wasn't trying to make me say that the real reason I gained weight was because I ate ice cream! She looked at my little receipt that the scale gave me and said that ACTUALLY, I've only gained 1.5 lbs of actual weight and then 4 lbs gained was all muscle mass!!! She told me that my overall body fat was lower than it's ever been, even with the 1.5 lbs gained :D YAY!
I got 2 more CCs in my band (for a total of 6) and am hoping that makes a big difference :) So for now I'm happy. And once again I am reminded that the numbers on the scale don't always show what's going on inside :) That'll last as long as it takes for me to start starving off of my liquid diet.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sorry!
I'm sorry friends and family, I've been SO bad about posting lately. I'm STUCK in this rut where I'm not losing ANYTHING. It's making me want to eat things I know I shouldn't and it's making me lose all my will-power. Now I know why they say if you want to lose weight FAST, get a bypass, if you have a little time, get lap-band. I don't regret getting my band, certainly not. I'm just so beyond impatient that it's making me have a negative attitude. Bah- and humbug!
However, fear not...my fill appointment is right around the corner! I am going in on the 11th to get another fill. I'm honestly hoping she'll give me another 4! I have 4 now and it's doing nothing at all, not even the slightest bit of restriction.
I'll probably get grumpy over being on a liquid diet again, but honestly if it'll allow me to see those numbers on the scale budge again, as they haven't in SO long :(, then I'll deal w/jell-o and broth!
I haven't been commenting but I've been keeping an eye on everyone elses blogs too...you guys inspire me, even if you don't know it :)
However, fear not...my fill appointment is right around the corner! I am going in on the 11th to get another fill. I'm honestly hoping she'll give me another 4! I have 4 now and it's doing nothing at all, not even the slightest bit of restriction.
I'll probably get grumpy over being on a liquid diet again, but honestly if it'll allow me to see those numbers on the scale budge again, as they haven't in SO long :(, then I'll deal w/jell-o and broth!
I haven't been commenting but I've been keeping an eye on everyone elses blogs too...you guys inspire me, even if you don't know it :)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
WHAT YOU'VE LOST
Your weight loss =
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony
I WANNA RUN!!!!
Why is it that when I'm stuck at my desk working and don't have the option to leave, is when I always get the biggest urges to work out? But then when I'm off work and staring my elliptical down from across the room, I feel not only no urge to work out, but an even bigger urge NOT to work out? I don't get this...I think it's some form of witchery that the junk food or diet pill people put on me.
Well I got my current issue of Women's Health magazine and decided...for once...to open it. I found this ad for Nike + and it had something to do w/ipods too. So I looked into it more online and found out what that's all about. I'm sure most of you already know, but basically, Nike has these shoes that you put this little sensor into and that sensor links up with your ipod or Nike wrist band. While you're running/walking, the sensor reports your speed, milage, pace, etc. to the band and/or the ipod. While you're listening to music, you can press a button on your ipod and the Nike sensor chip will tell you, through your ipod, how many miles/steps you've taken, how far you have to go, etc! It's really cool! And the wrist band is actually a USB that you plug into your computer to upload your workouts onto your computer. The Nike website has all kinds of features that allow you to interact w/other runners/walkers. You can view popular routs that other people in your area go on, in case you're looking for a running buddy! You can get into a jogging competition with someone who lives on the other side of the country as you! Really...technology just amazes me :) I swear I'm not adverstising for Nike :) lol, but I really am impressed w/all the interactive/social features that are now part of people's work outs. So, for the shoes (which are specially shaped for my high arches and fat thighs that tilt my feet out) and the sensor and the wrist band, it's about $170. Not bad, right? OH and that includes some cushioned socks :)
So now I'm stuck at my desk but I'm all pumped to go try some power walking, maybe even a little jogging! And I can't :( And I know when I get off work tonight (at 11pm!!) that I'm not going to be up for it.
For now, I'm making a deal with myself. I KNOW if I tell my husband I'm going to buy these things, he'll say "Absolutely not...you're just going to get the stuff because you're all excited and then you'll never use it." Then he'll jerk his head toward my elliptical. Ugh, what a butt. LOL...please understand he didn't actually do this, this is just what I KNOW he will do if I bring up $170 worth of running gear. So, to save that scene from happening, I'm going to make a preemptive deal. If I can work out on my elliptical every day....no, scratch that...5 days a week for the next month, then I can buy the running shoes and accessories :) I'd say that's a good goal!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Down (not the good kind)
Ok support team...I need you already!
I am having such a hard time. My fill did NOTHING! I'm calling first thing tomorrow morning to schedule another one. Today is my 2 month bandiversary and I haven't lost anything more this last month. Granted, I haven't gained, but come on!
How many cc's did it take for you to get to your sweet spot? What do you FEEL when you're properly filled? When my dr. was filling me up and making me drink water, she kept asking "ok how does that feel when you take a drink?" and it felt like nothing! It felt like I was taking a drink of water. What's it supposed to feel like?
Has anyone else gone through this down time so quickly after surgery? I'm TRYING to stay positive, but it's so hard right now.
THANKS SUPPORT TEAM!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
THANKS
I don't really know how to respond to comments, so I just wanted to say "THANKS" to everyone who leaves me comments. I DO read them and TOTALLY appreciate them :) It's so nice to hear from those of you who have been through this with me and who can offer me words of wisdom and tell me when I need to just sit back, relax, and calm the crap down! LOL!
So thank you! :)
So thank you! :)
NEW HAIR!
A brand new *me* deserves a brand new hair color!
I've been dirty blond forever, so I decided to go completely drastic and dye my hair BLACK the other day!
I SUPER love it! It has bronze highlights in it too :)
I've been dirty blond forever, so I decided to go completely drastic and dye my hair BLACK the other day!
I SUPER love it! It has bronze highlights in it too :)
Here's a close up to see the bronze. In person it looks even better!
I also like this pic because you can start to see my face thinning out just a bit. YAY!
And this pic shows that my double chin is STARTING to retract, which I am most anxious for! Even when I was younger and really heavy, I never had double chins or a really fat face, so I could always take face pics and actually look thin!
But this last couple years of gaining weight was ALL in my face, and I was devastated.
So the fact that I'm finally starting to get a neck again and cheek bones is such a huge deal to me :)
But this last couple years of gaining weight was ALL in my face, and I was devastated.
So the fact that I'm finally starting to get a neck again and cheek bones is such a huge deal to me :)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My First Work Out/Fill
Well I had my first fill last Friday. It went well. It doesn't hurt any more than having your blood drawn. It's a very awkward sensation having the needle hit the port though, hard to describe. I was given 4 ccs. Usually most patients only get 2 to start with, but since I've been complaining about having ZERO restriction since the day I got out of the hospital, she put more in me. Honestly I'm STILL not feeling the restriction! It's a bit frustrating, but I know that some people take a few fills to get that "sweet spot." Hopefully mine will be found soon!
At the appt, my Dr. said that she'll let me start working out on my elliptical again. I was supposed to wait 6 weeks, and it was 5 when she said I could. It's because I'm her favorite and I'm a fast healer :)
Well...originally my fitness instructor told me not to do more than 5 minutes/day to start with because it will take a while to ease back into. *phhhhhssshhh* yeah right! 5 minutes?? That's all?? So I decided to do 10 minutes on my elliptical and then 10 minutes of weights! Oh........my..........goodness. OUCH! I felt ok while I was actually working out, other than winded. But as soon as I was done and I went to go make my breakfast I about passed out on the kitchen floor! Once the eggs were safely back in the fridge I went and laid down. I felt like I was going to be sick, or black out at least.
That was nuts, I was working out a LOT longer than that BEFORE surgery, so why on earth was 20 minutes more than I could handle? Well, I guess I'm not as fast of a healer as I thought :( So I took today off from working out to "heal" from yesterday's episode!
Tomorrow I will try again. And I will only do 5 minutes :) By next week I'll be able to move to 10 minutes, then 20 the week after and so on.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sorry it's been so long!
Hey everyone,
Sorry it's been forever since my last post. I've been going through a LOT of emotions lately. Way more than most people can handle, and I'm not doing too good at it either. I've heard this is common after weight loss surgery. I'm working through it, but have become a little anti-social lately. And for me that's rare!
But for a lap-band update, I just wanted to share that right now SUCKS! I'm still 1 week away from getting my fill (well almost, I get it on Friday) and so I'm completely un-restricted right now. I can still eat a lot, and I'm getting hungry in-between small meals so I'm eating bigger meals. I'm eating healthy still, but it's really frustrating when I feel like I'm eating too much.
I'm able to see some difference/ loss in my neck and face, but the scales haven't budged in the last 2 weeks! That's a sure sign I'm beyond ready for my fill! I just want to feel some restriction so I know that this thing is actually working!
So next week I will report on how the fill went. But for now I'm stuck in an emotional and frustrating time. I know it will pass...eventually.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
15 LBS GONE!!!
YAY!!!!! I reached my 15 lb weight loss goal today!
I'm so happy!!
I had originally given myself the first month to lost the 15 lbs and it's only been just over 2 weeks! And I still haven't even had a fill yet! And that's only SINCE surgery, that's not counting what I lost before surgery.
A few people have commented that I look good, but honestly I don't see it yet. I know that 15 lbs on me doesn't look like much, so it's going to take a lot more for me to actually start seeing the difference.
Man alive, if I could keep losing 15 lbs every 2 weeks I'd be at goal in NO time! :) LOL, but I know that won't happen. And that's fine :) I'm just excited anyway!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy 4th!
HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!
I hope everyone has a great holiday!
I'm so mad, I was going to take pictures of dinner so that I could post them on here, but I was enjoying it so much that I forgot :(
But we had bbq shish-kebabs. We had chicken ones, veggi ones w/green peppers and onions, zucchini ones, shrimp ones (MY FAVORITE), and steak ones (which I'm not SUPPOSED to have steak yet, but I tried it and my band tolerated it very well). We also bbq'd corn on the cob but I can't have corn yet.
After a HEALTHY and YUMMY bbq dinner, we drove out to watch the fireworks. They had the BEST display this year, especially considering all the budget cut backs other towns were doing, and we're a tiny little low-budget town! It lasted 50 minutes before the grand finale.
Then for dessert we had no sugar added/ 98% fat free ice cream sandwiches and sugar free snow cones.
Overall it was a WONDERFUL holiday and I had the best dinner :)
OH-and to update, I've lost 14 lbs since surgery! Woooo! Almost all my incisions are healed and scabs are gone :) I have no restriction though, so it's a little hard to not wonder if I'm still eating too much, but I'm trying really hard not to. My fill appt is coming up toward the end of the month :)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
FIRST REAL MEAL
My TEDIOUS 4 day liquid diet is over! PRAISE THE LORD! I know I'm probably ticking a lot of other bandsters off since most other patients from different surgeons have to do at least a week of liquid and here I am rejoicing that 4 days is done with. Sorry!!
Today I was able to move to somewhat normal foods! The only things I can't have until 1 month out are 4 legged proteins (beef and pork basically), peas, corn, and potatoes. Those are still too hard to digest right now. But I can have any other fruit, any other vegetable, any other meat, any thing else at all :) Well...besides bad foods obviously. Right now I can eat 4-8 oz or 1/2 to 1 cup of food. Since the only actual restriction I feel right now is from swelling, this will probably increase once the swelling goes down before I get my first fill in 1 month.
For breakfast I had a Yoplait Light yogurt (Apple pie...THANK YOU Stacie for turning me on to that!) I was being a wuss and couldn't muster enough courage to try for a piece of whole grain toast yet.
I was a little braver at lunch. I had 3 naked nuggets, 1/2 of a cheddar cheese stick, and I made about 1/4 cup of re fried beans but could only eat half of it before my 20 minute eating limit was up.
That went really well! It tasted SO good. I cannot tell you how utterly sick of broth and jell-o I am right now! I just ate everything really slowly, chewed VERY well, and swallowed slowly and stopped after each couple of bites to make sure it wasn't coming back up, lol. Luckily none of it did :) And by the end of my 20 minutes, I felt satisfied. Not full, but satisfied.
For dinner I made teriyaki chicken breast with Yoshidos sauce. MMMM that was SO good. I steamed some fresh zucchini (being very careful to thoroughly chew the skins since they were harder).
I was really wanting that chicken (from the lack of protein lately) so I skipped out on anything else and just had a little more chicken than I normally would. That also went very well and nothing came back up! That was 4 hours ago and I'm hungry now. But I'll sip my water and wait for breakfast to come since I'm sure this is an emotional hunger...although it's hard to tell over this loud rumbling coming from my tummy!
I was really wanting that chicken (from the lack of protein lately) so I skipped out on anything else and just had a little more chicken than I normally would. That also went very well and nothing came back up! That was 4 hours ago and I'm hungry now. But I'll sip my water and wait for breakfast to come since I'm sure this is an emotional hunger...although it's hard to tell over this loud rumbling coming from my tummy!
Oh, and these are served in those baby plates I bought and posted about in an earlier blog :) See how it LOOKS like I have a lot of food? When I really don't!
Random
My aunts form Arkansas sent me these BEAUTIFUL flowers when I got home from the hospital! I love getting flowers.
Here's my favorite lily from the bouquet my husband and family got me when I was in the hospital. MMMMM these just smell SO wonderful!
This is my at home office :) Complete with flowers and a pillow to put in between my big tummy and the desk that it pushes into.
Here is a closer look at my 5 incisions. One on top right under my bra line, then the 4 bottom ones. The 2nd from the left is the BIG one where they put the port (this is taken in a mirror, so it's actually on my left side) and you can see it took a lot more tape to close up. That's the one you will always see me holding or pressing because it will hurt the longest :(
OK that's it :) Just a short one to share some pics!
Food Porn- the origin
One term that I’ve come to embrace in the weight loss community is “food porn.” This is any kind of picture or text that refers to food. Any kind of picture or text that makes us WANT that specific food.
I know some of my more mature followers may not love this phrase, however I think it makes the impression much more understandable.
Another term that is used is “food horny.” It goes hand in hand with food porn, obviously ;) If one says they are food horny, it means that they are craving something almost beyond self control. If one says “Warning, food porn ahead” it means that they will be talking about something that may trigger food horniness in the reader. It’s only fair to give a warning so that you don’t sabotage your fellow losers (people trying to lose weight). The foods in food porn aren’t necessarily BAD foods, but everyone has different eating guidelines and may not be able to eat it or it may trigger a craving for something else.
That being said…WARNING-FOOD PORN AHEAD…I was SO food horny last night! It was the first time since surgery (which I know isn’t really a long time, but still) that I wanted something so much. I wanted everything, cinnamon rolls, white cake w/raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting, pizza with extra cheese, sour patch kids, movie theater popcorn, you name it, it was craving it! It was bad, I was close to tears. But at the same time, this was a really good confirmation that my band was a good idea. Pre-band, I would have simply gone to the store, loaded up on all that junk, come home and stuffed myself for the temporary “fix” and then felt awful about myself afterword.
But with my handy dandy band I don’t even have that option. Sure I could probably suck the sugar off some sweet and sour patch kids and yeah the ice cream would melt right through the opening, but I’m more alert and focused now. I actually have to stop and think, is it worth it? Did I just spend ALL that money to cheat? Did I just spend the last 4 days on a nasty liquid diet so that I could sabotage myself? NO!
So even though I know there will come a day where I will CONSCIOUSLY give in to my naughty food porn temptations, I will do so without guilt knowing that I can and will control myself. And I know I will have the brains to get RIGHT back on track and be sure to walk an extra mile so that the extra calories are never even noticed :)
I know some of my more mature followers may not love this phrase, however I think it makes the impression much more understandable.
Another term that is used is “food horny.” It goes hand in hand with food porn, obviously ;) If one says they are food horny, it means that they are craving something almost beyond self control. If one says “Warning, food porn ahead” it means that they will be talking about something that may trigger food horniness in the reader. It’s only fair to give a warning so that you don’t sabotage your fellow losers (people trying to lose weight). The foods in food porn aren’t necessarily BAD foods, but everyone has different eating guidelines and may not be able to eat it or it may trigger a craving for something else.
That being said…WARNING-FOOD PORN AHEAD…I was SO food horny last night! It was the first time since surgery (which I know isn’t really a long time, but still) that I wanted something so much. I wanted everything, cinnamon rolls, white cake w/raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting, pizza with extra cheese, sour patch kids, movie theater popcorn, you name it, it was craving it! It was bad, I was close to tears. But at the same time, this was a really good confirmation that my band was a good idea. Pre-band, I would have simply gone to the store, loaded up on all that junk, come home and stuffed myself for the temporary “fix” and then felt awful about myself afterword.
But with my handy dandy band I don’t even have that option. Sure I could probably suck the sugar off some sweet and sour patch kids and yeah the ice cream would melt right through the opening, but I’m more alert and focused now. I actually have to stop and think, is it worth it? Did I just spend ALL that money to cheat? Did I just spend the last 4 days on a nasty liquid diet so that I could sabotage myself? NO!
So even though I know there will come a day where I will CONSCIOUSLY give in to my naughty food porn temptations, I will do so without guilt knowing that I can and will control myself. And I know I will have the brains to get RIGHT back on track and be sure to walk an extra mile so that the extra calories are never even noticed :)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ha...
Ticker
Sunday, June 21, 2009
DAY OF SURGERY!!!
JUNE 18th was my SURGERY DATE!!! It came so fast. As I expected, I didn't get a wink of sleep the night before and also as I expected, I woke up starving! I got everything packed and ready to go the night before so that morning was easy. As soon as Hubby got home he packed the car and we were off to the hospital!
We arrived at 9:15 ish, had to park SUPER far away from the entrance and so I'm sure I burned another few pounds off from the walk alone! I was a little frustrated because when I got there, I went straight up to the 5th floor (where the bariatric unit is) and they told me I had to go back to the 1st floor to check in. So I did so, and was then escorted to the 2nd floor to sit in the surgery waiting room.
OK...embarrassing moment: I had to pee and so I went to the bathroom door in the surgery waiting room and there was a big sign that said "Please see nurse's desk before using bathroom" so I walked over and asked if I needed a key or something and she said that she had to call my doctor and ask if I was able to go to the bathroom. And she's not saying this quietly, mind you. So she calls someone and says "This is (so-and-so) in Surgery Waiting. I have Stephanie Orellellana here and she needs to go to the bathroom. Is that alright?" OMG...first of all, she butchered my last name, second of all, this was a small waiting room and she was talking to EVERYONE in there. I was SO embarrassed! Then she hung up and said I could go. Good grief!
Frustrating moment: A week ago my surgery was scheduled for 11:00am. The day before surgery it was scheduled for 11:30am. Then the day of it was scheduled for 12:30pm. I know things get moved back, but it was annoying, I could have slept for one more hour. Oh well. Small bump.
So FINALLY after at least an hour waiting w/my mom and hubby I was called back to pre-op. My nurse was WONDERFUL, I just loved her. I got changed into my paper gown and was weighed (wow, I really did lose another 3 lbs since the night before!) and was taken behind my little curtain and got into my roller bed. I got all my vitals taken and then she put my IV in. Ok, I am EXTREMELY sensitive about my hands. I do NOT tolerate things in my hand. Whenever I give blood they have to take it from my inner arm or else I'll faint. I can't stand the sight or feeling of needles in my hand! So she TRIED to put it in my hand and I was almost in tears and felt like I could throw up, but thankfully she couldn't find my vein so the IV went in my inner arm :) yay! I win :)
After I was ready to go, my hubby and mom came in and visited w/me for a bit. Then the anesthesiologist came in and put a "relaxer" in my IV. It was just to calm my nerves, although they didn't really need calming, but that was fun stuff :) I was awake and alert but I don't really remember too much. My mom said I was giggling a lot and she said Kris and my mom kissed me goodbye when they were ready to wheel my bed away, but I do NOT remember any of that. I remember being IN the operating room and was asked to scoot over onto the operating table. I remember I was asked to press my feet against a white pillow thing at the foot of the table, and I recall that I was talking, however I have no idea what I was saying.
The next thing I remember was slowing coming around in the recovery room. I was SOOOO out of it, I was maybe awake for a whole 2 seconds before I was out again. I could hear people talking around me, but I was completely unaware of anything I was doing. I hardly recall them wheeling me into my room. Here are the lovely pics Kris took when they rolled me in. I was trying to smile, lol.
Apparently I was in surgery for 2 hours, which normally it only takes 45 minutes so my mom and hubby were worried. I guess the reason was because the way I carry my tummy fat they had to be extra slow and careful to get into my lower tummy since that's where more of the fat was. But everything was fine and they said my tissues and organs all looked really healthy. :) sweet. I was in recovery for 2 hours also. 4 hours of waiting, sorry mom and hubby!
The rest of the day I was pretty much asleep. They woke me up to try to have me eat some broth, which I did try. Shortly after, it all came back up :( It didn't hurt but it scared me that I would move my band! Luckily, right after that they had scheduled my x-ray to test the position of the band, and it was perfect. So no worries :) I got really close to being sick a few more times, but was able to keep it in with deep breaths. The nurses were great and kept coming in what seemed like every few minutes to check my vitals and give me some kind of pain med or anti-inflammatory or liquids or something.
When they made me get up to walk I did a GREAT job!! I didn't have to sit down to rest or anything and I made it twice around the floor and walked perfectly upright and fast :) The nurse was so impressed! The next few times I went out I was lapping other patients :) NOT that it's a contest...I know....but I was still proud of myself. Just goes to show you that attitude is everything. I had the attitude that I WAS going to walk really well and I did :)
After a TERRIBLE night sleep/rest and a very long morning, I was FINALLY released from the hospital and walked myself down to the car. Most people are wheeled out but I felt great at that time. I even refused the pain meds they offered me before I left. I felt I would be fine w/my prescription. Later that evening I seriously regretted it. I was in more pain and discomfort that night than I ever was in the hospital.
Oh, these are the BEAUTIFUL flowers that my hubby and mom/dad/sister picked out for me to have waiting in my room :)
Here is a crappy pic of my wounds. There are 5, the one up by my bra, and the 4 in a row across the middle. The brown you see is the stitching tape to keep the stitches in. It itches :( The white patch is the BIG wound where they put the port in. That hurts the most :(
SO I'll post another blog tomorrow for everything that's happened since the day after surgery, but this one is long enough! I'm doing great though :)
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