OK sorry, been going through chaos lately...here's what's been happening:
*Oct. 16th I got my 3rd fill, I am up to 8 CCs in an 11 CC band (yikes). Am I worried? YES! I still do not feel ANY restriction...WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I know everyone is different and it takes a different amount for different people...bla bla bla bla bla, I KNOW. But come on :( this is not going so smoothly for me.
My Dr. said that my next fill she'll do under florescent so that we can make sure I don't have a leak or that my band has slipped or anything. I'm also going to ask her about this replacement for saline called "xray contrast fluid." I was checking the LapBandTalk boards (more on that in a minute) and another bandster had/has the exact same situation as me, 8 CCs in an 11 CC band and no restriction, so her dr took out all her saline and replaced it with that contrast fluid and she said now she has perfect restriction, so idk, but I'm going to find out what that's about.
On a somewhat positive note, I did another 5k. I'm a little discouraged because I thought I could do the full 10K, but I couldn't :( In all reality, of course I couldn't, that's over 6 miles! Just a month ago I could hardly do one mile, what on earth made me think I could do over 6 in less than a month? So I set myself up for disappointment. And my mom, dad, and husband keep telling me I didn't fail and I'm not a loser, but I still kind of feel like it. I know it's irrational and I should be super proud of the 5K, but I just feel like I should have been able to do 10. Oh well, I know I'll get there, right? Next weekend I have another 5K to do for Juvenile Diabetes. I'll post pics, I don't have any from this last one. Oh yeah...and SHE ----->
can bite me.
Now let's talk about how STUPID I've been lately. And normally I wouldn't even DARE to admit this to everyone, but I HAVE to be honest and take responsibility for me serious lack of common sense! Here are the serious mistakes I've made this month that I highly encourage everyone else NOT to make:
Mistake #1- Do NOT buy the large party size bag of peanut butter M&Ms when you're craving them and tell yourself that you can control yourself to only eat 1/8th of a cup of them at a time (that's like 10 m&ms)...because guess what...you'll eat the whole damn bag in 4 days.
Mistake #2- Do NOT go out and buy ANOTHER bag of peanut butter M&Ms after having previously make mistake #1 and try to tell yourself that it's because they're Halloween colors and are really just for decoration in your glass pumpkin candy dish, but you won't eat them. Why is this a bad idea? Because you WILL eat them.
Mistake #3- When inviting your parents (2 people) over for movie night and you want to provide a dessert (that you know only 1 of them will eat) do NOT buy enough Reeses and Heath Klondike bars for 12 people. I know, who would have thought that I would spend every waking second of the next 2 days doing nothing but thinking about those damn Klondike bars and then go on a mad ice cream binging rampage leaving nothing but foil wrappers littering the counter? Crazy, huh? Who'da thunk it?
Mistake #4- When you're at Costco buying all your healthy food in bulk, do NOT stop over in the Halloween section and decide that now (2 weeks BEFORE Halloween) is the perfect time to buy the 10 lb bag of candy to pass out to trick-or treaters. And why is that kids? Oh...right....because the candy won't ever make it to the trick-or-treaters bags! Poor little trick-or-treaters. :(
So...is it really any surprise that I'm not losing any weight this month? I think the bigger surprise is that I'm not gaining any!
SOLUTION TIME-
So I'm back to the drawing board. I'm going to write this month prior to today off as "What the hell where you thinking?" and move on to "I'm so over that!" Starting tomorrow I'm back in the saddle with my new found knowledge and re-affirmed motivation.
Let's review the basics that have been thrown out the window:
*1 to 2 cups of food per meal
*NO drinking 30 minutes BEFORE and 30 minutes AFTER a meal, and CERTAINLY not during!
*PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN!
*8 glasses of water per day! Not 1!
*A veggie with at least 2 of the 3 meals
*NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ice cream or candy (I'll allow myself later, but right now I need to get re-focused)
I've also decided that I need to get back to my online support at LapBandTalk.com and read up on success stories and people who are going through the same thing as me. This entire blog was inspired by the bandster who said she's lost 96 lbs in 6 months!! CRAP!
I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this!! AND I WILL :D
See...I feel better already :)
BRING ON TOMORROW!!!!
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I'm glad you feel better now.. hopefully putting it all in writing too was a way to see while you have certainly been to town lol all is not lost. You seem to want to rectify which is half the battle.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it, Steph. Let us know how things go?
*WOW* this post struck so close to home...Peanut butter M&M's are my favorite indulgence ahhhh. I have totally bought the party size bag before and ate it in a few days, your not alone! The important thing is that you realize these mistakes now, and know that for some time they are your weakness and can not be allowed in the house. Down the road, yes they can probably come back, but for now no.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them, postiing them on here was brave of you and I think really helpful to other bandsters. If all we read about are people's success stories and never their struggles then it makes it hard to relate. Keep up the good work!
Go Steph Go!! You can totally do this. I'm the same as you...can't bring the bag of candy into the house without eating the entire thing over a couple of days. Good luck getting back on track. Can't wait to hear how it goes!
ReplyDeleteStephanie - I totally could have written this post(and have several times)! I am in a similar situation with my fill level and it's tough mentally. I've got 9.25 cc's in an 11 band- I did get some restriction starting at 9, but not enough(I have another fill next week). It makes you think that you have something wrong with your band (or you) and it's easy to get down when reading about other people having restriction at 4 cc's.
ReplyDeleteThe restriction will come and getting back on plan seems like a great idea(I bought way too much Halloween candy too).
Good luck!