Saturday, September 12, 2009

Post Fill Liquid Diet Day 2

Yeah...this pic is putting it mildly. I am SOOOO hungry! :( Stupid liquid diets :( That's the only thing I hate about getting fills. On one hand, I'm so excited to get fills so that I can be properly tightened so that I can control my portions and lose weight. On the other, I go through 3 days of pure torture not being able to eat anything but Jell-O and broth. And for me it's just Jell-O because I cannot STAND broth anymore since my surgery.
Any my poor husband, I don't let him eat for 3 days either, LOL. Well, he can eat, he just can't eat anything I like. So he has to live off of pickles, rice w/salsa, and hummus while I glare at him over my Jell-O cup. I feel bad making him not eat, it's not his fault I chose to get a fill. But still, he does it because he supports me and that's how he can show it best. I'd seriously rip his head off if he TRIED to eat something super yummy around me when I can't eat it. So really this works best for both of us.
So I've lost 4 lbs from my liquid diet, and I'd be more excited about that if I weren't so dang HANGRY!!
Hangry: When you're so hungry you're angry.
Yep...that's me right now. I get really feisty when I'm this hungry. *Sigh* only 1 1/2 more days to go before I can have some real food. I'll get there!

Friday, September 11, 2009

2nd Fill Report

FINALLY I was able to get in for my second fill :) Let me tell you...I was DREADING being weighed because I know I've gained 5 1/2 lbs! I was so afraid that my Dr. was going to say "Stephanie, you are not taking this seriously and you are gaining weight! No one in our patient history has gained weight but you and we are so disappointed!" (see the psychological mess I am?)
But once again, I was proven how it is NOT the number on the scale that measures your success!!! My Dr's office has those really nice scales that send a jolt of electrons up your body and then print out a little receipt that tell you all kinds of stuff, like your BMI, your lean muscle mass, your bone density, etc. So I hopped up on the scale, she said my weight and I said "DANG IT!" because by saying the weight out loud she confirmed that I had in fact gained 5 1/2 lbs exactly. So I went back out to the waiting room and actually started crying. Yes...I started crying over 5 1/2 lbs. I know that most of you who would try and comfort me would say that 5 1/2 lbs is nothing, but when you're trying to LOSE weight, not losing anything would be frustrating enough but then GAINING is just un-acceptable.
Well, as I hinted at before, there is a happy ending. When the Dr. came in to give me my fill, I started crying again and she asked what was wrong and I said "I've gained weight and I'm so upset about it and I'm afraid I'm going to fail." She looked at me and said "Why are you gaining weight?" and I said "I don't knooowwwwww!" :( and she said, " Of course you do. Tell me why," so I went into this long explanation about how I thought maybe it was water weight from being bloated from my T.T.O.T.M. and I was rambling on and on. She stopped me and said "I highly doubt that, it's probably because you aren't filled enough yet!" and so I was excited that she wasn't trying to make me say that the real reason I gained weight was because I ate ice cream! She looked at my little receipt that the scale gave me and said that ACTUALLY, I've only gained 1.5 lbs of actual weight and then 4 lbs gained was all muscle mass!!! She told me that my overall body fat was lower than it's ever been, even with the 1.5 lbs gained :D YAY!
I got 2 more CCs in my band (for a total of 6) and am hoping that makes a big difference :) So for now I'm happy. And once again I am reminded that the numbers on the scale don't always show what's going on inside :) That'll last as long as it takes for me to start starving off of my liquid diet.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I'm sorry friends and family, I've been SO bad about posting lately. I'm STUCK in this rut where I'm not losing ANYTHING. It's making me want to eat things I know I shouldn't and it's making me lose all my will-power. Now I know why they say if you want to lose weight FAST, get a bypass, if you have a little time, get lap-band. I don't regret getting my band, certainly not. I'm just so beyond impatient that it's making me have a negative attitude. Bah- and humbug!

However, fear fill appointment is right around the corner! I am going in on the 11th to get another fill. I'm honestly hoping she'll give me another 4! I have 4 now and it's doing nothing at all, not even the slightest bit of restriction.

I'll probably get grumpy over being on a liquid diet again, but honestly if it'll allow me to see those numbers on the scale budge again, as they haven't in SO long :(, then I'll deal w/jell-o and broth!

I haven't been commenting but I've been keeping an eye on everyone elses blogs guys inspire me, even if you don't know it :)