...2...

OMG!! THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW I WILL BE SWITCHED! HOLY CRAP!

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this. It almost doesn't seem real. I think in my subconscious I am convinced that something will happen that will prevent me from having surgery. I'm not sure what, but something. I have worked so hard on this for so long, that at this point I feel like it's still not real, I'm prepared to keep fighting.

I'm being a good girl today and having LIQUIDS ONLY! :) No solid foods at all. Then tomorrow will be my clear liquids only and my bowl prep...joy. I lost 10 lbs last time I did the bowl prep, lol. All water weight, I know, but hey- 10lbs is 10 lbs.

I got a hair cut today! I chopped off like 4 inches! My hair was the longest it's ever been and now it's back to my normal shoulder length. I loved the long hair and I'll miss it, but I have really thin hair and I lost SO much hair post-op last time, and it's such a pain in the ass to keep neat. I'm not going to be styling my hair while I'm recovering, and if I don't it gets all knotted and ratty, and I don't want to have to pull tangles out of my hair either. So to make post-op life just a little easier, I chopped it. It'll also help it look fuller if it's shorter w/layers. I'll post a pic later after I've washed and re-styled it :)

I think Osi, my lizard, is picking up on my stress because he has been freaked out all day today. When I tried to pick him up for his bath he freaked out, and he loves his baths, so idk...maybe I should use him as an indicator of when I need to calm down.

Today was very stressful though. My morning started out pretty much as bad as it could be. After only 4 hours of sleep I got up and met up with my husband to sign our divorce papers. Just 2 days before my surgery :( He insisted that I do it before my surgery because he doesn't "want to be responsible" for me if anything happens to me during surgery. Not that having the papers filed will waive him of any legal responsibilities since they're not finalized, but still...that was kind of hurtful. And I'm not entirely sure why, but it really hurt my feelings that he didn't even ask where the hospital was or if he could come see me after my surgery. It made me feel like he doesn't even care about me anymore. I know that we're getting a divorce and we fell out of love, I get that, but I still care about him and if he were in the hospital for anything I'd want to go see him. My mom says it's because he cares about me so much that he doesn't want to see me all weak and drugged up and in pain and since he knows he's not going to be there to take care of me the whole time, he'd rather not see me at all. Idk...my feelings were still hurt. Whatever :( I guess that's part of divorce, losing your friend as well as your husband.