Yesterday sucked just about as bad as it possibly could. Of course I'm being dramatic, I know a lot more sucky things could have happened, but short of someone dying I don't really see how right now.
My surgery was supposed to be today. That's right, SUPPOSED to be. Yesterday I got a call from my surgeon's office and she said that there was an emergency and my surgeon cancelled my surgery. I was numb- completely shocked. The second I hung up with her I flung myself on the chair in the living room and just started sobbing. My face was completely covered in black stripes from my mascara. I can't even begin to describe how heartbroken and devastated I am. It's 2pm right now, I SHOULD be in my recovery room right now. I should be switched and be on my way to a new life. But I'm not. I'm about to start work in a couple hours.
I'm so pissed off. And I'm torn...my surgeon was Dr. Husted. When I first said that on OH I got ripped a new one for that from the vets, saying how he can't stay put and he cancels surgeries without notices, etc. I believed them, but after talking to Dr. Husted, he calmed my worries about that and gave very legitimate excuses that I completely bought. He told me flat out that he's going to be splitting his time between California and Arizona and that sometimes he won't be in my state for me, which I was ok with. But now...now I am angry and I feel betrayed. I trusted him against my instincts, against my better judgement, against the warnings of people wiser and more experienced than myself. And he let me down. Now the very caring and compassionate person in me is saying that perhaps there was a legitimate emergency and maybe he really didn't just up and leave but maybe he was saving some one's life or maybe someone in his family died or something. And those are legitimate reasons that would have nothing to do with his flight pattern. But of course my mind is jumping to the warnings I received previously and maybe he just cancelled because he didn't feel like coming over to AZ and wanted to stay at his CA practice. Maybe he is leaving the AZ practice all together- I don't know. But I was stubborn enough to think that this wouldn't happen to me, and it did. Serves me right :(
I've been on the phone back and forth ALL day yesterday and ALL day today. As of right now my surgery has been re-scheduled to August 12th, so 9 days from today. I have to go into a consultation on the 9th because this will be with a different surgeon, not Husted. I was told that if I wanted my surgery anytime soon with Husted I would have to fly out to California. Eff that! if I'm flying out to California I'm seeing Keshishian. Eff Husted! I am so mad at him for telling me to my face that the rumors on OH aren't true and then cancelling my surgery the day before just like the "rumors" said he would. So now I am going to have Dr. Hilario Juarez do my surgery. He's fairly new, but not as new as Blackstone was going to be when I was willing to have her do my DS. I've looked him up and can't find anything bad about him from his other surgeries (band, rny, revisions, etc). He also used to be a trauma surgeon so he can handle high stress situations in surgery, that makes me feel good.
Still though- this just isn't fair. WHY me? I have been fighting and fighting and fighting for this for over a year now! I just don't get why it keeps not working out. Maybe there's a reason, but of course that's not what I focus on. I'm focused on the fact that now I have to wait 9 more days for something I was prepared for TODAY. That means 9 more days of liquid diets, 9 more days of waiting, 9 more days of stress, 9 more days of working, and I have to do the bowel prep AGAIN! And they had better reimburse me for that, I spent $40 on those horse pills and took them at the surgeon's scheduler's orders and then she called me an hour later to cancel the surgery. I am not paying $40 for more pills that she made me waste. :( Yes, I'm being petty. I feel I have a right.
*le sigh*
I guess it could be a lot worse. I should be thankful. But today I choose to be miserable. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better outlook.
Please, for the sake of my sanity, if any of you reading this are on the OH boards, please don't mention this or share this or do what ONE member did and say "oh did you see what she's hiding on her blog?" and ratted me out! B-word! I will admit my ignorance and take all of the "We told you so"s that I have coming- all in due time. But not yet.
WHO DID THAT!?! Assholes. You should, for good measure, see if anyone has heard of your new doctor. Revisions are tougher than virgin and I'd hate to see you get hurt because you're desperate. I don't mean that in a bad way, I know what it feels like and I would feel desperate too.
ReplyDeleteI think you should take a breath and look for someone very qualified or vetted. I've read so many nightmares this week on the board of surgeries done at the hands of surgeons less than capable. If you have to wait a little longer for someone that you KNOW will do it right, maybe you should. I say this out of love and concern.
::putting pillow up to shield face::
If you need me to, I'll ask for you so you don't get hazed.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that is the saddest kitteh. :(
LOL aww Heidi, thanks :) I know that coming from you it's care and not lecturing. I actually found a few people on the DS board who had the new surgeon and I talked to all of them today and their stories are GREAT! It made me feel way more comfortable with him. He's very good at revisions of harder surgeries like the RNY to the sleeve, so a band to the DS, especially since I have no actual problem with mine like erosion or slippage, should be a piece of cake. I'll talk to him about it at my consultation. But just so you know- I DO have Dr. Srikanth on standby just in case this guy doesn't work out. I've already talked to their office and I have friends and family all over WA so I'd have plenty of places to stay should I go that direction. But seriously, thank you <3 you can put the pillow down ;) LOL
ReplyDeleteMessage me on facebook and tell me who was the rat. For two reasons, well maybe three. 1. I need to give them evil thoughts 2. It kills me not to know 3. I don't know, I just want to know. :)
ReplyDeleteThat makes me feel better. I hope you get it and I hope you'll do alright. Have you talked about what size of sleeve and what size of cc?
Well that sucks plain & simple. Frustrating. Sorry. Bright side... I do believe in destiny and my guess is you wouldn't want a distracted surgeon doing your surgery thinking about what's going on somewhere else when he's rerouting the innards ;)
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you have to deal with any of this. I agree with Michelle. There are reasons for everything. Maybe it was ment to be this way.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe he really cancelled on you. Well I mean I can because I've heard of the track record but at the same time....
BTW Who ratted? People drive me crazy at times. Although I do want to make sure you are seeing a vetted surgeon who comes recommended what you post on the OH board is your choice.
Wow! You are the one dr Juarez's group told me Hustead bailed on! So so sorry! People on OH have been giving me fits for some time over Juarez but I think he is a good surgeon! I haven't found anything at all to make me question his skills as a surgeon! I think people someone's get on their high horse over there and think If it isn't who they think is a good surgeon then we have no brain to think otherwise! Don't get me wrong, I love OH but some people are just way to harsh and intense!
ReplyDeleteDr juarez did my band removal and I feel very confident in him! Am praying everything went ok for you! I assume you are switched now! Please let me know if you need help! I am local too! My surgery date has been pushed back to sept 1 now! See you on the losers bench soon!