...16...

As I'm laying here typing this, I am annoyed. Today wasn't near as good as I had hoped it would be. To start my day out, I had to go ask my soon-t0-be ex-husband to loan me some of the money I'll need to pay for the self-pay portion of my surgery. I just don't have it and since we are going through a divorce and our house just foreclosed, I am not going to be able to get a loan through any bank. Plus I don't want the interest charges :/ Luckily, my STB-X is in over all good standing with me and we are still friends. He graciously lent me the money so that I can get going with my new life- starting with my new guts. But regardless, it was humiliating, stressful, and one of the lowest points of this entire process.

Next I drove 2 hours to visit my younger sister since I haven't seen her since March when she got married. And it's not like we had a ton of time to spend then, because of all the wedding stuff going on. So I decided to go visit her today and when I got there her and her new hubby were fighting the entire time! It was kind of uncomfortable and made me re-think if I ever put people in that situation when things started going bad with my STB-X and me. I sure hope not. It was nice to see my sister, but it really wasn't the best visit. However she DID make me her amazing home-made cheesecake!! Since I'm starting my liquid diet next week sometime, I decided I need some cheesecake before I'm cut off from real food for a while.

Then on my way home I stopped at Chipotle to grab a burrito bowl to bring home for dinner. The little girl working there gave me such attitude! I never get rice in my bowl, and she was making it UBER fast, like it was a race or something, and so the second I told her I wanted a burrito bowl, but BEFORE I could spit out "with no rice" she had already globbed a heaping pile of rice in my bowl. So I said "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't want rice." And she huffed, dumped it out all aggressively and was like "ok what DO you want in it?" and so I said "both black and pinto beans" and she looked at me like I had just ordered peanut butter and garlic sauce or something...come on, it's beans! I seriously doubt I'm the only person who has ever ordered that. Then I told her I wanted steak...now let me mention, they were about 10 minutes from closing, no one was behind me, and their steak tub was FILLED. She gave me the tiniest little scoop of steak, so I asked if I could get a bit more. OMG. I'm not exaggerating, she scooped up a tiny bit in the spoon, shook a few of those pieces back out, and added maybe...around 8 little tiny cubes of steak to my bowl. COME ON! Give me a freaking break! Really???? Like I asked for ALL the steak or something, my god! And she was doing this all SO fast that food was flying everywhere. After the cheese and sour cream the outside of the bowl was covered in food. Then I had the audacity to ask for chips and guacamole too. You seriously would have thought I asked her to drive to Mexico and buy me fresh made chips and guac, the look she gave me. I was so mad but at the same time I almost started crying. When I got home and took my food out of the bag it had leaked everywhere because she didn't take the time to drain the beans so they were really liquidy, and she just literally slopped everything in the bowl. I just decided that I'm offended enough by this that I'll be calling the manager in the morning to get a free lunch/dinner next time I go in. This really is un-called for when I see it typed out! It tasted awesome, but yummy dinner shouldn't come with a side of attitude. Sorry you work at Chipotle, if you don't like it then finish school and get a better job that doesn't require you to interact with other people!

By the time I was done with dinner I was feeling all sorry for myself and being all mopey, so I took my new baby lizard out of his cage and cuddled with him for a while and watched one of my favorite movies. That seriously cheered me up. I felt a lot better. Then my mind, being free from thinking about the day's events, started working double time thinking about surgery stuff and what I still need to do and prep for. I'm HIGHLY OCD about prep stuff and I will ALWAYS be way over prepared. When I go out of town for one night, I usually have two suitcases. There is almost always an entire new outfit in my car--just in case. And when I plan for surgery, I buy WAY more than I will probably use and/or don't even need. It's just how I plan and prepare. If I didn't go over-board, I would be stressed that I'm forgetting something or panicking that I might need something I don't have. I can always return things (and do frequently) if I end up not needing them, but my mind won't relax until I am overstocked. So even though I should have gone to bed (since my pre-op classes are in...let's see...oh great! 7 hours) I went to wal-mart instead. I bought all kinds of things to help in my pre- and post- op. Since I just realized how late it was, I will post a picture and go into more details about my goodies in tomorrow's post...or later today's post- rather.

Thanks for the vent- tomorrow will be better and all of this negativity will pass. I have people who love me more than words can say and for them I am so grateful. <3