Off Topic Rant (long...needed to vent!)

The SERIOUS Lack of Movie Theatre Etiquette:

We went and saw Despicable Me tonight. It was an absolutely wonderful movie and I can't wait to own it. However my experience was completely ruined because of how RUDE people are these days!

Problem #1- People talking on their cell phones:
OK people... you are at the movies. You are presumably there to watch a movie, not get on your cell phone with your best friend. Everyone SHOULD set their cell phones to vibrate or silent or just completely shut them off when the previews start. It would be the smart thing to do. That way if someone calls you, you do not disturb everyone around you who paid the same money you did to enjoy their night. Tonight this little teenager behind me answered her loudly ringing phone during the movie!!! "Hello? Hi Mom, no I'm at the movies with my friends. Well what do you need? Oh...oh ok. Yeah that's fine. Ok. No I'm in the movie right now. Yes, it's on right now. Ok. Alright, I'll call you when I'm done. I don't know, maybe another half hour? Yeah. Ok. Love you too. Bye." ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! And she wasn't even whispering...just talking full volume as if she were sitting at home and didn't have 100 other people trying to hear the movie and not her! How do people just flat out not know how insanely RUDE that is?!?

Problem #2- People who TEXT on their cell phones: Our theatre has stadium seating (as I'm sure most do these days) and we like to sit toward the top. The problem with that is that we can see down the entire theatre and there is constantly little lights popping up in what is supposed to be a sea of black. Not just once, but MULTIPLE times from the same people. Apparently the guy sitting a couple rows down from us got bored during the movie because he actually started playing a game on his cell phone during the movie! WTF?!?! You pay $8.50 for a movie ticket to sit and play a game you can do for free OUTSIDE the theatre? I just cannot FATHOM how people don't "get" that we can ALL see that glow from your phone, and it is very distracting! Even for 1 second, even if you hunch down over your phone, even if you keep it in your purse...if you can see it, every single person sitting behind you can too.

Problem #3- People who talk: It is completely understandable and reasonable that people will talk before the movie starts and even a little during the pre-views. But once the house lights are turned down and the rest of the theatre gets quiet, take that as your queue to SHUT THE HELL UP! No, your story about how your son's hockey game is not important enough to keep talking at full volume about it as the movie is starting. The proper way to abruptly end a conversation is "Oh the movie is starting, I'll tell you after." And during the movie, if you need to comment to your friend about what just happened, WHISPER!!!!! Lean your head over to theirs and point your mouth toward their ear and WHISPER what you need to say. Do not loudly announce that the scene you just saw was stupid or that you don't get it. Trust me, there are clearly a lot of things you don't get if you can't understand the 2 inch voice rule!!!

Problem #3- People who bring their very young children to movies that aren't appropriate for children: Obviously seeing Despicable Me, I expected that children would be there, and they were. And for this particular audience, I have to say the children were much better behaved than all of the teenagers and some of the parents. But I've been to movies that were rated R and were just absolutely not good for kids. Like the movie "Taken." If you don't know, that movie is about a teenage girl being kidnapped while abroad on vacation and being sold into an underground world of drugs and sex. Some guy brought is little daughter to that movie, she had to have been about 7 or 8. And when one of the girls in the movie was dead, strapped to a bed and had semen all over her, and had clearly been on drugs and this little girl asks her dad, without whispering, "Daddy is that girl sleeping? What's that stuff on her face?" that is exactly when he should have realized NOW would be a good time to remove my daughter from this movie that I clearly didn't research before subjecting her too. But no...she sat there w/him through the entire movie. There were so many kids at Get Him To The Greek that I thought we had walked into the wrong theater. And not like 10 year old kids, I'm talking like toddlers and kindergartners. These are all parents of the year...taking their children to watch a movie full of swear words, drugs, alcohol, and sex...a movie glorifying ALL of those. And while I absolutely loved that movie, I felt very uncomfortable sitting next to these kids who were soaking in all the drug scenes and sex scenes. It's just so wrong.

Problem #4 (Last but not least)- Parents who do not REMOVE their screaming/crying children from the theatre!: I cannot tell you how many times a child started screaming or crying during Despicable Me. It completely disrupts EVERYONE and makes it so that none of us can enjoy the movie. Is that the plan? What...if you can't enjoy the movie because your kid is screaming and you might have to leave then NO ONE should enjoy the movie they paid for? Do these parents actually think that their child's ear piercing shrieks don't bother the rest of us? Are they so selfish that they refuse to miss part of the movie to do the right thing and leave with said screaming banshee? I just don't understand this. And has any parent in the HISTORY of time ever actually gotten their very upset child to stop their wailing by saying "shh!"??? Has that really ever happened?!??! I'm thinking NOT! And it is NOT ok to let your kids go running up and down the stairs for their entertainment. Every single person they pass is immediately interrupted by small children going up and down and up and down and up and down those blasted stairs just because you refuse to get off your ass and do something about your kids! So if you can't find someone to watch your kids, then cough up the $5 the daycare at the theatre costs and leave your kid there while you watch your movie. And if you can't afford the $5 then you probably shouldn't be paying for movies and extra large buckets of popcorn in the first place.

It is experiences like this that really ruin going out for me. I remember back in the day when everyone knew the "law" of the movie theatre, and that was to sit down, shut up, and watch the dam movie! Can we PLEASE get back to that?? If not, can I PLEASE have a marshmallow gun to shoot at causers of the above mentioned problems?